O: Old age, opportunity for reflection on my blessings

Viking series

So, it turns out that the gel injection I got in my right knee lasted for 6 months. The doc said, “Six to nine months,” and he was spot on. April 22 to early October is six months. I saw him this morning, just as the knee is getting worse. “And it’s swollen,” is what he saw when he looked at it. When one knee is sore the weight shifts to the other leg causing problems in the “good leg.” He has requested insurance to authorize the injection and then I will be going in for my shot. While it’s a nuisance to have a bum knee, it is far better to have insurance, canes and my handicapped-parking card. This pain is temporary and not all that bad. Below is a poem I wrote 20 years ago during a hard time with the knee. Today is not even close to that, thank God.

The Pain

I fear and loathe the pain I bear

In consternation, dismay, apprehension, hesitancy and panic

I greet the burning in my knee.

In slow feeble steps, watching, and sitting

I’ve lost a portion of my dignity

To this damn distress, and joined a battle I gladly should have missed.

My pride’s been ripped from these strong legs and replaced by stiff timidity.

Yes, I fear and loathe the pain I bear.

Terry Redman (c) 2014

A few more poems to raise my spirits:

nano mug

i wish to stop time

re-gather my energies and be ready

when the next blow, challenge, or disappointment arrives.

i wish to stop time so,

i could go back and undo the pain and harm i’ve caused.

to know I had worth and talents

when cruel taunts stung my heart and

see the insecurity of my tormenters.

i wish to stop time

and have another talk with parents now dead

and friends no longer in my life

and to do more good for them than i did then

and see them all with older, wiser eyes and heart.

i wish to stop time

and let my story germinate, feel the kiss of poetry

dripping from my soul onto digital keys.

to read ideas so unlike my own and

hear the voices of other times (then and yet to come.)

i wish to stop time

and open door after door, to rooms of different civilizations

to dwell with alien and ancestor

when the world was less computerized, more silent.

i wish to stop time and treasure today

before it passes into faded memory.

Terry Redman © 2013



Muse’s laugh echoes across marble walls,

through dark forests sprung from red clay,

filled with people—the residents of my imagination.

“write, boy,” she says.” “make dramas in distant galaxies,

passionate poems, and thoughtful essays.”

held by Obligation i mutter, “so many gotta-do’s.

pop-up appointments and other baggage.”

barefoot, Muse hangs her dress on a limb, and edges toward the water

“life is….”

“i know. it happens while we’re….”

she blows me a kiss. “no. life is now, this moment, this day, this thought.”

Today, now, we swim in the pool of creativity.



4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. joanraymondwriting
    Oct 30, 2014 @ 19:07:03

    Love the poems Terry. Especially the one about stopping time. I, too, wish I could have one more conversation with my parents.
    I’m glad there’s hope of a pain-free knee. Take care of yourself.



  2. Terry Redman
    Oct 31, 2014 @ 20:51:23

    Joan, thanks for dropping by. I have not done enough poetry these last few years and have to remedy that.



  3. Joan Lindsay Kerr
    Nov 03, 2014 @ 21:43:50

    Terry, I really loved these poems! They captured your feelings so well…and expressed feelings that all of us, especially writers, could recognize and share. Thanks!



  4. heyannis
    Nov 05, 2014 @ 05:30:15

    My favorite line, Terry: “My pride’s been ripped from these strong legs and replaced by stiff timidity.”



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